The Wizard of Ozzy
by vonniebeth
Summary: Okay, cuz of the guidelines, i cant use the real title. This a parody of the Wizard of Oz featuring Next to Normal characters. I wrote this back in January for a friend. Please tell me what you think of it. Thank you. rated T for language
1. She's A Little Runaway

**Note: If you read my other stories, you'll know that I'm well aware that Diana and Dan are Natalie's parents, not her aunt and uncle, but I made it that way just to fit the parody. Just thought I'd say that before you say anything**

This is the story of a Kansas girl named Natalie Goodman. Natalie lived with her Auntie Di, Uncle Daniel and her dog Shenzi on their lowly farm. Out of the 3 of them, Natalie loved Shenzi the most. Everywhere she went, Shenzi went with her.

One day, Natalie and Shenzi burst through the door. Natalie yelled, "Auntie Di! Uncle Daniel!"

Uncle Daniel put his newspaper down and said with a sigh, "What is it, Natalie?"

"Well, I was on my way home from school and I couldn't find Shenzi. I finally found him in a garden, but not any garden. It was the garden of that evil psychopharmacologist, Sir Madden. Then that bitch said, 'Oh, I'm gonna kill that mangy mutt'. We ran away, but Sir Madden followed us…"

"Your point?"

"He's gonna kill Shenzi! Uncle Daniel, we have to do something!"

"Nat, what you need is courage. You have to stand up to that guy. It seems as if you have no courage at all."

"You're no help. Auntie Di! Auntie Di!"

Auntie Di appeared from the door of the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Natalie!" she said warmly. "You're home. What's wrong? You look truly frightened."

"No shit, Sherlock. That evil psychopharmacologist is gonna kill Shenzi."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"We have to do something!"

"I'm afraid I have no power over that guy. He can do what he wants. Sorry dear."

"Is that all you can say?"

"There's nothing else to say."

"Hello, Goodman family!" rang out the voice of Henry, who was Natalie's boyfriend. "Something smells good. Perhaps another one of your delicious meals, Mrs. Goodman? And Mr. Goodman, you look really clever reading that newspaper. And Natalie Goodman, saving the best for last, you're prettier than you were yesterday. Actually, you look terrified. What's wrong?"

"You know that evil psychopharmacologist that lives on the corner?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah. So?"

"He's gonna kill Shenzi."

"Poor Shenzi. Why would he kill him?"

"He went into his garden while waiting for me after school."

"Well, if you had any brains at all, you would've stopped him."

"Me?"

Auntie Di cleared her throat and said, "Dinner's ready! We'll discuss Shenzi's predicament later."

They walked into the kitchen and Natalie groaned. "Auntie Di, you set up 5 places again! Why the fuck do you do that? It's really stupid. There are only 4 of us."

Auntie Di stared at Natalie in horror. "Natalie Goodman, you have absolutely no idea what it's like to lose a child."

"Yeah, but I know what it's like to lose both of my parents and almost Shenzi."

"Far from the point. If Gabriel were here, he'd say you're heartless!"

"He died forever ago. For chrissakes woman, let it go!"

"But he was my son! Gabe, oh dear Gabe, why did you die?"

Uncle Daniel backed away slowly and said, "Excuse me, but I ain't staying for this cry-fest."

"Me either," Henry and Natalie said in unison.

Auntie Di began to cry and mutter Gabe's name over and over again. As soon as the 3 of them were back in the living room, Uncle Daniel glared at Natalie. "Nat, you do know she's crazy, right?"

"So?"

"Well, I think you should stay away from her for awhile, at least until she's done crying about Gabe. You know, you and Gabe could've been like brother and sister, if he wasn't, well, deceased."

"You know, I think I'll just run away from home. Even better, I'll run away with Ozzy."

"Who the hell is that?"

"A celebrity and my future beau."

"Hey!" Henry yelled, looking a little offended.

"Goodbye Goodman family and Henry. Come on, Shenzi!" Natalie and Shenzi tore out of the house and ran away. After a few minutes, they saw a trailer with the words 'Ozzy' on it. "Here I come, Ozzy!" Natalie walked up to the trailer and knocked.

Ozzy opened the door and sang, "Hey!"

"Wow that was so cool."

"And you are?"

"Natalie Goodman and this is my dog, Shenzi."

"It's a pleasure. What can I do for you today? Autograph? Record? Kiss?"

"I want to run away from home with you."

"Now why would you want to do a boneheaded thing like that? Hold on, don't tell me. I have a 6th sense. You, um… you've hurt somebody… or somebodies… somebodies, and now you're running away from your problems."

"It's just somebody. My Auntie Di."

"Her real name is Diana, and you've also hurt your boyfriend Harry? No, his name is Henry."

"No I haven't."

"Yes you have. You said you didn't love him."

"That's silly! I love Henry a lot!"

"No, you said you loved Oswald? No, you said you loved Ozzy. Wait a minute, that's me!"

"It's just a celebrity crush. I bet Henry has one."

"No. He could never love anyone who's not you. Henry loves you very much, just like your Uncle Daniel and Auntie Di love you. Wait, what's this I see. Your Auntie Di… oh my god, she's killing herself. She's saying, 'Natalie, why have you abandoned me? Uncle Daniel, why have you abandoned me? Henry, why have you abandoned me? Here I come, Gabe!'"

"Oh no! I can't let that happened. I have to go back home!"

"Wait, I thought you wanted to run away with me!"

"I want to, but I can't! I have to save Auntie Di. Thanks so much for telling me! Before I go, can I have an autograph… and a kiss?"

"Sure." Ozzy gave Natalie an autograph and a kiss. "Bye."

"Bye. Thanks so much!"

"No problem!" Natalie and Shenzi ran off and Ozzy sighed. "My 6th sense says a tornado is coming. Hope Natalie makes it home."

Meanwhile, Auntie Di and Uncle Daniel were looking for Natalie when Henry ran up to them. "It's a twister! It's a twister!" he screamed.

"What the hell is your problem?" Auntie Di asked.

"The wind is picking up. The cold front just met the warm front. There's gonna be a tornado."

"We'll be fine. Gabe will protect us."

"For the kajillionth time, he can't!"

"HE WILL!"

"Okay, fine. Whatever you say. We should get into the tornado shelter anyway."

"What about Natalie?"

"I'm worried about her too. She'll be fine."

"Okay."

The 3 of them went into the tornado shelter just as Natalie dashed into the yard. Natalie noticed a tornado and screamed. "Auntie Di! Uncle Daniel! Henry!" she shouted over the winds as she tried to open the tornado shelter, which was locked. Natalie ran into the house. "Auntie Di! Auntie Di!" Then a window flew open, hit Natalie on the head and knocked her unconscious as she screamed.


	2. Like A Cyclone

Natalie woke up suddenly, her face being licked by Shenzi. Natalie walked up to the window and saw things flying around. "What the fuck?" She saw a cow and horse fly by. "Oh my god!" Natalie continued to look out the window and she realized that they were up in the tornado. "Holy shit, Shenzi! We're up in the tornado! We're gonna die!"

Then, an image of Henry crying flew in front of Natalie. Then there was an image of Auntie Di killing herself. Then there was an image of Sir Madden running after Shenzi. "You damn dog!" he yelled.

"No! Not Sir Madden!"

Suddenly, Sir Madden transformed into a warlock. Natalie screamed and the warlock laughed. "You're gonna die!"

"No!" Then the house began to fall. "Goodbye, Shenzi! Goodbye, Henry! Goodbye, Auntie Di and Uncle Daniel."

The house landed.


	3. Gives You Hell

**dedicated to my dance BFF Angela for the idea of the knee brace**

"Oh!" Natalie looked around. "Yes, I'm alive!" Natalie happily skipped to the front door and froze when she opened it. "What the fuck? Where am I? This sure as hell isn't Kansas!" Then a fit of giggles started. "Okay, who's there?" The giggles sounded again. "I'm not kidding! Who's here?" Once again, the giggles sounded. "Who the hell is here? SHOW YOURSELF!"

Suddenly, a balloon floated into Natalie's sight and transformed into a woman in a pink sparkly dress. "Hello darling!" she said brightly.

"What the hell? Auntie Di?"

"No, no, no, sweetheart. I am Diana, the Good Witch of the West. And you are?"

"Natalie Goodman from Kansas. This isn't Kansas, is it?"

"Nope. This is Midgetville. Now, are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

"I'm not a witch. Witches are hideous."

"You sound like a bad witch, most definitely. I see you're addicted to drugs and you really think I'm that ugly?"

"Of course not."

"Well, I'm a witch."

"You are? Well, not begging your pardon, you're uglier than any witch I've seen."

"You just said I wasn't ugly."

"No, I said you weren't as ugly as I said, I never said you weren't ugly."

"Oh, thanks, Natalie."

"You're welcome. Now, I have to get back home. Perchance, do tornadoes ever come through here?"

"Sadly for you, no. You see, I'm their protectorate. But what you can do is follow the yellow brick road."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Then you stay here in Midgetville. Oh Midgets!"

"That's Shorty to you, ma'am!" one of the Midgets said.

"I don't care."

"Of course you don't." The Midget turned to Natalie. "I'm Shorty."

"I'm Natalie," Natalie said very unenthusiastically.

"Of course, it's not my real name."

"Kumbaya."

"Okay, my name is Kumbaya."

"That was a sarcastic expression, but whatever, you're Kumbaya."

"Yay!"

"Oh my god!" one of the Midgets yelled. "Look over here! It landed on the Wicked Warlock of the South."

"Wow! Then Natalie is a good witch! The Wicked Warlock of the South is dead."

All the Midgets broke into song. "Ding-dong, the warlock's dead. Which warlock? The Wicked Warlock! Ding-dong the Wicked Warlock's deaaaaaaaad!"

"Stop, stop, stop!" boomed a voice. Flames appeared and through them appeared…

"Oh shit, it's Sir Madden!" Natalie said startled.

"No. I am NOT Sir Madden. I am the Wicked Warlock of the North and you killed my brother!"

"It would've happened anyway."

"I'm gonna kill you! But first, I must take possession of my brother's golden knee brace." The warlock walked to his brother's corpse and tried to take the knee brace, but it disappeared. "What the hell?" He turned to Natalie. "You!"

"What now?"

"You took my late brother's knee brace, didn't you?"

"I was standing here the whole time, you fucking idiot. Of course I didn't."

"Then why are you wearing it?"

"I am?" Natalie looked down and saw she was wearing the golden knee brace. "What the hell?" She looked at Diana.

"Don't you dare take it off!" Diana said. "Keep it on, no matter what. The knee brace must be powerful if he wants it so bad."

"Give me that knee brace right NOW!" the warlock yelled.

"Now, now, you dumbass warlock, you'd better leave before someone comes to kill you."

"Whatever, you shit-filled fairy-bitch. I'll get you, Natalie, and your little dog too!"

"Now, Natalie, to get back to Kansas, you need to see the Wizard, a really good man. He lives in St. Patrick's Day-ville, where everything is lucky. To get there, you must follow the yellow brick road."

Natalie rolled her eyes. "I know. You told me," she said angrily.

"Okay, smartass. Bye!"

Diana transformed back into a balloon and floated away. "Well, I better go." Natalie walked to the edge of the yellow brick road. "Follow the yellow brick road."

One of the Midgets stepped in front of Natalie. "Follow the yellow brick road!" he said.

"Get out of my way."

Another Midget stepped in front of Natalie. "Follow the yellow brick road!" she said.

"Move."

Another Midget stepped in front of Natalie. "Follow the yellow brick road!" he said.

"All of you Midgets get the sam fuck out of my way! I have to get to the Wizard so I can go home and be away from you all!" Natalie ran down the yellow brick road and out of Midgetville.

"Damn," Kumbaya said. "No one ever stays here."


	4. You Think I'm Stupid

Natalie and Shenzi walked lively down the yellow brick road until the road split into 3 different parts. "Great. Now where do I go?" Natalie wondered out loud.

"Pardon me, madam," a voice said, "but the middle way looks pleasant."

"Who said that?" Natalie looked at Shenzi. "Obviously, not you." Natalie looked at a scarecrow. "Not you either…"

"And there's that left way, too."

"Huh?" Natalie looked at the scarecrow again. "I must be delusional. Scarecrows can't talk. Can they?"

"And there's the right way too."

"It was you! You're talking to me."

"I am not!"

"Are you sure?"

"Well, I might be. I don't know. I'm quite the dumbass, you know. I ain't got a brain to help me make decisions."

Natalie approached the scarecrow and almost screamed. "Henry?"

"No. I'm just a plain, old scarecrow. Who's Henry?"

"My boyfriend."

"Oh, you're already taken. Damn."

"Why do you care?"

"Well, I like you."

"Here, how about I help you down?" Natalie walked behind the pole Scarecrow was on and began to untie the rope. "It seems like it's stuck…"

"No, don't do it!" Scarecrow fell to the ground. "Ow, ow, ow! That… that didn't hurt at all. Thank you. So, what's your name? I don't believe I asked."

"I'm Natalie."

"Well, nice to meet you Natalie."

"Yep. Charmed. Well, I gotta go."

"Where?"

"I have to see the Wizard in St. Patrick's Day-ville so I can go back to my home in Kansas."

"Can I come?"

"No."

"Oh, come on! Don't leave me! Please! You helped me with my life. I must come."

"No."

"Why not?"  
"Cuz you're annoying and rude. I must go now."

"Okay, fine. Leave me here. It's okay." Scarecrow sat on the ground and cried.

"Alright, alright! Fine! You can come with me."

"Yay!"

So then Natalie, Scarecrow and Shenzi walked down the middle path en route to St. Patrick's Day-ville.


	5. To a Tin Man So Heartless

As they continued down the yellow brick road, Natalie, Shenzi and Scarecrow came across orange trees. "Mm, oranges," Natalie sighed. "I'm starved." Natalie went to go take an orange but the tree gave her a death stare. "What?"

"Do not you dare!" the tree bellowed.

"But I'm starving."

"How would you like it if someone tried to pull things off of you?"

"Please can I have one?"

"No!"  
"Fine. Bitch."

"Bye."

"Wait," Scarecrow said as he walked up to the tree. "Guess what? Natalie wouldn't eat your oranges even if they were the last foods on earth. They'd probably be as sour as your attitude."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Come on, Natalie. We'll just find something else."

Scarecrow walked away and Natalie stared in amazement. "Wow, Scarecrow," Natalie said. "That was very brave."

"Did it win your heart?"

"No. I told you I already have a boyfriend." Then Shenzi began to bark. "What? What is it, Shenzi?" Natalie looked at what Shenzi was barking at. "Oh my goody, goody Goodman! Scarecrow, look! It's a tin man!"

"Joy."

"Hey, hey. Stop it. Come on." Natalie ran up to the tin man and looked at him. "Wow, he looks familiar…"

"I think he's trying to say something. Listen… you suck… go away…"

"Shut up. No, he's saying oil me… I'm frozen… help. Okay." Natalie looked around, found an oil can and oiled the tin man. "There you go."

"Thanks!" the tin man said.

"You're welcome."

"Why are you looking at me funny?"

"You look familiar. Sort of like my aunt and uncle… their son. You look like their 'perfect' son Gabe."

"I'm not Gabe. And I'm not perfect either."

"Yes you are. Well, I don't think your perfect, but my aunt and uncle do. My aunt talks about you 24/7/365/525,600…"

"I get it. I'm not your aunt and uncle's son, but can you knock on my chest for their sake?"

"Sure." Natalie knocked on Tin Man's chest. "What's wrong with it?"

"Can you not hear it? It's empty. I'm… I'm… I'm heartless."

"Aw. Well, I have a heart, and it's saying that you should come with me, Scarecrow and Shenzi to St. Patrick's Day-ville."

"What?" Scarecrow yelled.

"Shut it. So, what do you say? Want to come with us?"

"Please say no!"

"I see you don't like me," Tin Man said.

"No duh."

"Well, how come?"

"Cuz Natalie is mine. I have dibs on her. I don't want you to steal her."

"I won't. She's nice, but I don't need or want a relationship. She's all yours."

"Okay. Thank you."

"So are we friends?"  
"Okay."

"Yay!"

"Yay!"

Natalie stared at them. "Okay, can we please go now?" she asked. "I have to get to Kansas."

"Of course."

"Not so fast!" the voice of the warlock boomed. He appeared through flames and glared at the 4 of them. "Mission aborted. You, Scarecrow, am gonna be my couch. You, Tin Man, am gonna be my refrigerator. You, Shenzi, am gonna be my dinner. You, Natalie, am gonna die."

"Not if we have something to say about it!" Tin Man yelled. He punched the warlock and threw him far, far away.

"Wow," Natalie said. "You're brave too. I'm so glad to have friends like you."

"We're glad to have a friend like you too. Well, shall we go?"

"Yes."

So they all walked down the yellow brick road and into the Enchanted Forest.


	6. Even the Best Fall Down Sometimes

"Hey, Natalie?" Scarecrow asked in a shaky voice. "Do you think there could be l-lions or t-tigers in this forest?"

"Or bears?" Tin Man asked, looking terrified.

"Come on. It's just a forest!" Natalie said.

Tin Man and Scarecrow gasped. "Lions and tigers and bears! Lions and tigers and bears! Lions and tigers and bears!"

"Oh my!" Natalie muttered as she put her face in her palm.

"RAWR!" a lion shouted as he appeared from behind a tree. Shenzi barked nervously and the lion laughed. "I'M GONNA EAT YOU!"

"No!" Natalie picked up Shenzi and slapped the lion. "Pick on someone your own size!"

The lion began to cry. "You hit me!"

"Yeah, well you deserved it. You can just go around eating dogs!"

"Unless they're hot dogs!" Scarecrow said.

"Scarecrow? SHUT UP! And you, Lion… you look like my Uncle Daniel."

"I'm not!" Lion sobbed. "I'm no one's uncle. I have no family or friends. They all abandoned me for that prissy Simba. I hate that Simba, I hate him!"

"Now, now, that's no reason to be a coward."

"I am a coward. I'm scared of everything. I'm even scared of my own shadow. I don't have a reason to live."

"Well, how would you like us to be your friends?"

"Really?"

"Yes. You can come with us to St. Patrick's Day-ville."

"Okay!"

"No! Not another person!" Scarecrow yelled. "First Tin Man, now Lion? Nuh-unh. No."

Lion began to cry again. "I thought we were all friends!"

"I'm not your friend!"

"Excuse him," Natalie said as she slapped Scarecrow. "He has this belief I'm gonna go out with him after I've said UMPTEEN times that I already had a boyfriend! He'll calm down eventually. Now, come on, let's get out of this forest so I can get home to Kansas."

So the 5 of them walked out of the forest.


	7. Everything We Know Fades to Black

They continued to trek down the yellow brick road, when before their very eyes appeared… "St. Patrick's Day-ville!" Natalie said with delight. "Come on, vamanos!"

"Yes!" Scarecrow and Tin Man yelled in agreement while Lion nodded his head knowingly.

They began to run across a flowery field that unknowingly had a spell cast on it by the warlock when Natalie stopped suddenly. "Whoa."

"What's wrong?"  
"I suddenly feel all… tired."

"Don't sleep, Natalie!" Scarecrow yelled.

"I have to. Everything is seemingly fading away… like a… dream."

"No! This is terrible! We have to do something! Come on, Lion. Help us out."

Lion yawned. "No," he said tiredly. "I think I better sleep too, at least just for a few… months."

"No! Tin Man! Oh Tin Man, my buddy, we have to do something… OH SHIT! You're rusted up again. This awful! I'M ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE!"

"No you're not!" Diana said gently as she appeared to Scarecrow.

"Who are you and why are you dressed like a tooth fairy?"  
"I am Diana, and I'm here to help."

"Are you a fairy?"  
"No. I'm a witch." Scarecrow screamed and Diana put her hand over his mouth. "A good witch."

"Oh. You're pretty."

"Don't start."

"Sorry."

"Now, your cries of loneliness and fear have beckoned to me that you needed my assistance. Now watch this. Levantarse!" Natalie and Lion got up. "Ephphatha." Tin Man became unrusted. "Mueven." Nothing happened. "That means move. Now go on. To St. Patrick's Day-ville you shall go. And Natalie, please remember to…"

"Never take off the knee brace," Natalie said sarcastically. "I know! Thank you so much for saving us."

"You're welcome."

"DAMN!" the warlock yelled. "Why does DIANA always win? Why not ME? Diana must be spying on them through the knee brace. How do I find out for sure?" He turned around and said in a Mr. Burns-like manner, "Excellent."


	8. Empire State of Mind

**thanks to iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12 who both reviewed every chapter so far and gave me the idea for Professor Weiss**

Natalie, Shenzi, Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion walked into St. Patrick's Day-ville. "Wow. I feel lucky already!" Scarecrow said. "I know we're in good hands."

"Must you quote Allstate?" Natalie groaned.

"What? What's Allstate?"

"Never mind. I forgot, this isn't Kansas."

"Like Hell, it isn't."

They walked to the main, uh, make that ONLY building and knocked on the door. A drunk woman opened the window on the door and said, "What the fuck? Are you dumbasses illiterate? Read the damn notice!" Then the window was shut.

"Wh-What notice?" Lion asked nervously.

"This thing," Natalie said. "I thought it was a welcome mat. It says 'Knock too annoying. Please ring bell'. Wow, they need some grammar checks." Natalie rang to bell.

The window was opened again. "Hello. Welcome to St. Patrick's Day-ville, home of the wizard!" the woman said.

"SHARON!"

"No, I'm not Sharon, you moron. So, what brings you here?"

"I, meaning we, have come to see the wizard. Please."

"Sure thing. Come on in, Natalie and friends."

"How do you know my name?"  
"The Royal Highness, though you may know her as Diana, has told us all about you. Also, you're wearing the golden knee brace. You know, you need to look more presentable, you all look mangy and it's really gross. I don't like it. So, to get you guys looking as good as gold, we've got a limo for you to ride in. Oh Dave!"

Natalie crinkled her eyebrows in confusion, only to see her Chemistry teacher in the driver's seat. "What the fucking hell? How did Professor Weiss get here? Was he in the house when I was? That's be creepy, and pedophilistic, but there's no other solution."

"Natalie!" Professor Weiss called. "Fancy seeing you here! Come on in!" Natalie and her friends climbed into the limo. Then the song 'Beat It' started playing and Professor Weiss started dancing while driving. "Whee!"

"Are you trying to get us in an accident?"

"No, sorry. I love this song. I'll turn it off now." Professor Weiss turned 'Beat It' off and then started humming the Mission Impossible Theme. Natalie gave him a look. "Sorry. Driving this limo makes me feel badass."

"Whatever."

"Well, we're at your stop. Thank you for riding. Bye."

"But that was only 45 seconds! Not even!"  
"Well, that's how things happen in the empire state of mind."

"How do mean?"

"Well, this is only a…"

Professor Weiss's sentence was cutoff by people breaking into song. "Welcome to St. Patrick's Day-ville where everything is luck. Come and join us for dinner, you lucky, lucky duck. Next time, stay here forever. Forever, we'll put you on top. Next time stay here for always. The good times, they never stop. So read the notice on the welcome mat and then you'll be treated like royalty. St. Patrick's Day-ville, it's your place to stay. YAHOO!"

Natalie stared in disgust, but she didn't say anything.

**PS: the song was sung to the tune from that one _Suite Life of Zack and Cody_ episode when they made a commercial for The Tipton, in case you didn't know**


	9. She is Love

After an hour, they all stood before the door leading to the wizard. "Well, finally, here we are," Natalie sighed. "I can't believe they put my hair up in these ridiculous pigtails. I feel like a fucking 5 year old."

"You're telling me," Lion agreed. "M-My fur is all shiny. I don't like it. It's absolutely blinding me. I hate this."

"I'm getting blinded by my tin," Tin Man complained.

"I like this," Scarecrow said. "I have new straw, new clothes and…"

"Now who the hell asked you?"

"I thought we were friends."

"We are. It's just not good to bring optimism into someone else's misery."

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

"Shh!" Natalie said. "Let's go."

They walked in and saw nothing at first, which quickly changed into them seeing a floating head. "Who art thou?" the head asked.

Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow backed away slowly and Natalie rolled her eyes. "I'm Natalie Goodman, from Kansas, and this is my dog Shenzi and those bozos are Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion."

"What do you want?"

"I want to go home!"

"Okay. Very well. But first, you must prove yourself worthy."

"Damn! I knew there was a loophole. What?"

"You must either kill the warlock or get the broomstick of the warlock, preferably both."

"That's not how you prove yourself worthy!"  
"It is in St. Patrick's Day-ville."

"You're mean! But fine, I'll do it."

"Good. NOW BE GONE!"

Natalie screamed and ran away, with Tin Man, Lion and Shenzi close behind. Scarecrow gave the floating head a cold stare. "You cannot scare her like that!" he yelled. "She's sensitive!" Then Scarecrow ran off to catch up with everyone else.


	10. Let's Have Some Fun, This Beat is Sick

**this one goes out to my good friends Double Agent DD and iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12 who very influential for this chapter. Sorry, it's kinda long**

The 5 friends walked outside through another part of the Enchanted Forest and Lion wouldn't stop shaking. "I-I am NOT g-going back to see that m-mean wizard," he stuttered. "Y-You won't make m-me."

"I agree," Tin Man and Scarecrow said in unison.

"He scared the living shit out of me, but then again, EVERYTHING does. I am such a coward."

"Don't feel bad about it. We were all scared. I thought I was gonna pass out. What do you think of that damn wizard, Natalie?"

Natalie rolled her eyes and said, "I'm… disgusted. Diana said he was a good man, but apparently he's evil, making her a liar. The floating head REALLY creeps me out. And I still hate these pigtails. I'm never gonna get home. Getting the warlock's broomstick? It ain't gonna happen."

"Aw, come on, Natalie! We'll help you!" Scarecrow said boldly. "Won't we guys?"  
"Yeah!" Tin Man said enthusiastically. "Of course we will! Why wouldn't we?"

"Oh, alright," Lion said nervously.

"Oh, you'll be helped, alright!" the voice of the warlock shouted. Unique-looking creatures flew through the sky and into the forest. They picked up Natalie and Shenzi then left the forest. Then the warlock appeared to Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion and smiled. "You'll never see them again, thanks to my lovely Dana-bats, who are my best assistants. As soon as I get back to my evil headquarters, Natalie and Shenzi are toast. Goodbye for now, my future couch, refrigerator, tomorrow night's dinner, and don't you dare try to mess with my evil plans."

"D-Dana-bats?" Lion passed out.

"It's okay, Lion," Scarecrow said. "This isn't about the Dana-bats anymore. It's about Natalie. We have to save her so she can go back to be with her family and BOYFRIEND!"

"Okay. Let's go. For Natalie's sake… and Shenzi's."

Meanwhile, the warlock arrived at his evil headquarters and was now tormenting Natalie and Shenzi. The warlock began to dance around like an idiot and said, "Young girl, who'll make me hurl, give me the knee brace or I'll knock you out of the human race."

"Never," Natalie said loudly.

"Okay, then I will force it off with my magic." The warlock twisted his hand and attempted to take it off but instead he shocked himself. "Ow! Holy fucking guacamole, what the hell? That prissy bitch Diana has put a spell on this knee brace, hasn't she? I'll never win at this rate. No matter. I'll just have to punish you. Now, this is a bomb…"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"Shut up, Lieutenant Sarcasm. Anywho, if you don't personally give me that knee brace in a half hour, the bomb will go off and you will die and I will get the knee brace without a fight. Make a wise decision. And let me tell you, a half hour isn't a long time at all. You'll see. I'll get that golden knee brace either way. Goodbye." The warlock left and locked the door behind him.

Natalie stared out the window. "Why? All I wanted was to go home! I never wanted any of this to happen. Now I'll never get home. Auntie Di is probably dead by now, Uncle Daniel is probably gone and Henry is probably thinking of suicide now that I'm gone. I thought Diana was protecting me, but I guess not. I've always been rejected, now I guess that's how life is meant to be."

"How about you give me the knee brace and we'll call it a day?"

"NO!"

"Well, then you'll have to die. I'll be getting the knee brace sooner or later."

"Nuh-unh!"

Suddenly, Natalie heard the voice of Diana saying, "Keep strong, girl. The friends that you've made here are coming to save you. Shenzi just left to lead the way. Speaking about ways, by the way, I am not a faker."

"Sorry, Diana."

"It's okay."

Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow were on the search of the evil headquarters, when Shenzi ran up to them barking. "Hey, Shenzi!" Lion said. "Wow, am I happy to see you! Can you lead us to the evil headquarters?" Shenzi barked happily and began to run off. "Okay. Come on!"

They followed Shenzi to the evil headquarters, where 2 guards were standing outside. "Kollin and Dargay!" they said in unison repeatedly.

"Ew. Well, let's go!"

"How can you be so sure?" Scarecrow whispered harshly. "Since when are you so optimistic?"

"Just come on!"

Kollin looked at Dargay and said, "You know what? I think you push your people too hard."

Dargay flashed Kollin an angry look. "Yeah?" he asked. "Well, excuse me, but I don't think you push your people hard enough."

"You're too mean!"

"You're too nice!"

"You make people cry!"  
"You make people laugh!"

"You're ugly!"

"You're uglier!"

"Hell, you're the ugliest guy I've ever met!"

"Here's out chance! Now come on!" Lion said. They ran in as Kollin and Dargay continued to fight. "See, that was easy. Now we have to find Natalie. Lead the way, Shenzi."

Natalie was still looking out the window, getting ready to cry. "Where the hell are they?" she said to herself. "The bomb will go off in 5 minutes. If I die, I'm sorry for hurting you cuz you miss your son, Auntie Di. I'm sorry for being a ruthless drug addict, Uncle Daniel. I'm sorry for loving someone who isn't you, Henry. I want you to know that I love you a lot, and I always will."

"Nat? Hey, Natalie, are you in there?" Tin Man called.

"Yes! Hurry up. The bomb will go off soon."

"Okay, we're on it!" Tin Man chopped the door down with his ax. "RUN!" They ran away and hid just as the bomb went off. "Now, that's what I call a sweet escape."

The warlock ran to the room that Natalie was locked in. "At last, that knee brace is mine! Yay! Now, where the hell is that corpse?"

"Come on, let's get out of here!" Lion said. "This place is giving me the heebie-jeebies."

"No," Scarecrow replied. "We have to stay in hiding so we can get the knee brace and get Natalie home."

"Oh Natalie, where art thou?" the warlock asked as he got closer to where they were hiding.

"Okay, now we run!"

The 5 of them ran away and the warlock stared in shock. "Damn it! They're getting away. Kollin and Dargay!" Kollin and Dargay ran up to the warlock and saluted him. "Okay, no flattery. Get those 5 barnacle heads."

"Aye-aye, sir!" they said as they saluted him again.

"Enough of the flattery! Go!"

"Aye-aye, sir!" they saluted him again and ran off.

"I think they're the barnacle heads,"

"I'm so tired," Natalie said as she stopped running. "I can't run anymore. Everything hurts like hell."

"Come on, Natalie! You have to run!" Scarecrow shouted.

"I can't!"

"Here, how about I carry you?"

"NO!"

"Okay, okay."

Kollin showed up behind them. "Hey there!" he shouted.

They all screamed and ran in the opposite direction until Dargay stood right in front of them. "Hello," he said. "You have no es-cah-pay!"

"I think the word is escape, Dargay."

"No, Kollin, es-cah-pay."

"Escape!"

"Es-cah-pay!"

"Escape!"

"Shut up!" the warlock yelled as he approached them. "Now, Natalie, I'm surprised to see you… alive. Now, you have no escape."

"I told you!"

"Zip it, Kollin! Anywho, I'm going to kill you all. Let's start with you, Scarecrow. Have some fire!"

The warlock lit a match and started to bring it closer to Scarecrow. Natalie found a random bucket of water and yelled, "Leave them alone!" as she threw the water to put the fire out.

The water put the fire out and some of it landed on the warlock. "No! You wretched bitch! I'm melting! Why must the evil die young? No! See you in Hell. Here I come, brother! No!"

Dargay stared at the warlock puddle. "You murderer!" he yelled. "You killed the boss. Kollin and I will kill you!"

"Wait a minute!" Kollin said. "Dargay, we're free! Thank you, Natalie. Here, take the broomstick. There's no need for it now." Kollin gave Natalie the broomstick.

"Thank you!" Natalie said excitedly. "At last! I get to go home! Bye! Thanks again!"

"You're welcome! Bye! It's been fun!" Dargay gave Kollin a look. "Hey, don't pretend it wasn't fun!"

**PS: 7 pages in a Word document. And thanks to iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12 who gave me the idea for Kollin and Dargay**


	11. Here I Am, Once Again

The 5 of them ran into the wizard's room and said, "We're back!"

"What?" the floating head shouted. "That's impossible! Do you have the broomstick that I requested?"

"Oh yes!" Natalie put the broomstick down in front of the floating head. "So can I go home now?"

"NO!"

"What?"

"You heard me! I can't make your decisio- WHAT?"

"What's the matter, wizard?"

"Get the hell out of here, stupid dog!"

"Shenzi, what are you doing?" Natalie looked for Shenzi and found him tugging on a curtain with a pissed man giving him a death stare. "Oh my god!"

The man looked at Natalie and then quickly closed the curtain. "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."

"Aw, give it up, wizard. The fucking jig is up!"  
"Damn!" The man walked out from behind the curtain and smiled. "Hi."

"Diana said you were good guy. I guess she lied. She a big, fat liar."

"No, I am good guy. I'm also a bad wizard."

"No shit."

"My name is Ozzy."

"I knew that. I'm Natalie."

"I know. You, Scarecrow, are very smart on the inside. Tin Man, you have a heart of gold. Just cuz it doesn't beat doesn't exist. Lion, your courage is hiding inside you, but you proved that you have found it by saving Natalie."

"What about me?"

"Oh, Natalie, did you know that I'm from Kansas? I'll take you home personally."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Come on, we better get going!"

30 minutes later, all the citizens of St. Patrick's Day-ville gathered see Natalie, Shenzi and Ozzy off. Natalie turned to Ozzy and said, "I have to say goodbye to my friends first. Lion, congratulations on finding to your courage. Good luck with your future. Goodbye. Tin Man, it was pleasure to meet you. I can't wait to tell Auntie Di and Uncle Daniel about you. Goodbye. Scarecrow, since I know you can't go on without this…" Natalie kissed Scarecrow. "Goodbye. Okay, let's go!" Natalie turned and Ozzy was gone. "Hey, where did he go?"

"He left!" someone called out.

"SHIT!"

Scarecrow hugged Natalie. "Don't leave!" he said. "Stay here with us. We love you."

"But my family…"

"Is in your heart."

"But…"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Diana called as she appeared to Natalie. "Nat, you do know this is a dream, right? A figure of your imagination?"

"It is?"

"Yes. Now wake up, Natalie. Wake up."

"Please wake up, Natalie," Scarecrow and Lion pleaded.


	12. Never Gonna Be Alone

Natalie opened her eyes and saw the worried faces of Auntie Di, Uncle Daniel and Henry. "What happened?" Natalie asked.

Auntie Di breathed a sigh of relief and said, "There was a tornado and it looks as if a window hit you on your head. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I guess it was all just a dream."

"What dream?"

"I was in this weird place. You were there. And Uncle Daniel, you were there. And Henry, you were there. And Ozzy was there too!"

"Of course!" Henry said dejectedly.

"Wait. Henry, I'm sorry I got you jealous. Ozzy is just a celebrity crush. I could never love him as much as I love you. You're my best friend. My boyfriend. Why would I want to betray my best friend for a guy that would get divorced with me in 2 months?"

"I guess. I love you so much, Natalie. I was afraid you would die."

"Well, I didn't. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Well, what does your dad have to say about that?"

"He's dead. Who cares?"

So they all lived happily ever after.

**sorry for the corny ending. It was the best I could come up with**


End file.
